so first off, I never look at those tickers for how long ago my m/cs were.. they're just there.. I looked at them the other day.. Its been over 5 months since my first!! Its gone by SO fast.. Tomorrow will be officially 13 months of TTC.. which hasn't gone by AS fast.. (the first 6 or so months took forever.. because nothing happened.. but since December or so, its flown by).
Jeff is going out of town today.. Just for two nights.. and I'm glad that he's going away with his friends.. but i still get lonely knowing I'm here by myself.. Especially when I have to come home from work and no one is here..(just the kitties..) So I'm sad about that..
We went to breakfast this morning... just to Dunkin Donuts.. and of course I nearly walked right into a woman who had to be.. i dunno.. somewhere around 20 weeks pg.. give or take.. I THINK I would be 20 weeks with my 2nd pg on Sunday. I lost track of the 1st at this point.. (Even though I know its exactly 7 weeks head of the 2nd.. so I didn't really).. but there are lots of reminders of the 2nd lately, with my friend being 1 week behind where I should be and all.. She's finding out the sex of her baby next week.. but anyway.. Dunkin Donuts lady was adorable.. and also had an adorable toddler with her.. I was JEALOUS.. there's no other words for it.. it was flat-out jealousy.. I'll admit it.. I'm jealous of ANYONE who is pregnant right now.. No animosity.. I'm not saying they don't deserve it.. but i'm jealous..
I am working 12-9 today.. its supposed to be really hot all day.. Work gets really miserable when its hot.. The air conditioning in the building doesn't work great and in the kitchen there obviously isn't ANY a/c.. and its brutal in there. So everyone gets really hot and cranky.. but.. hopefully at least work will keep my mind off how sad and lonely and jealous I am..
Children: On death and dying
11 years ago
3 comments:
I'm sorry it is a hard day today. I feel a lot of the same things. I am so jealous of anyone who is pregnant or has a baby. Just like you said, nothing negative about them, just wishing it could be me too. Hang in there. (((hugs)))
Hi Melissa, I'm so sorry that yesterday was so rough on you. :( I understand your feelings completely, it's good to blog it out and get some support. People with bellies have no idea how lucky they are, or how many people that look at them are totally and completely jealous and bitter. It seems to happen to me all the time.
I hope your Saturday is going better and you can do something fun while you're on your own this weekend - usually a good time for an idulgent bubble bath, gossip magazines, and eating whatever and whenever you want. ;) [[[hugs]]]
Well I'm jealous of you for getting to go to dunkin donuts for breakfast. yum.
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