Lots of random thoughts today.

So I got my period.. It was two days "late".. Last month I had a 12 day LP.. in previous months they'd been around 13 days..sometimes shorter.. but never longer..This month though.. 14 full days..Its okay. I knew I wasn't pg for sure by day 12 or so.. so i guess waiting was OK.

So now we are officially back to TTC... all the way.. this has hit me with a big range of emotions..
I'm excited, want to get pregnant IMMEDIATELY, am terrified, and a little bit sad again..

Lets start with excited.. I bought my Conceive Magazine today.. and flipped through some books at borders.. and I'm feeling pretty optimistic that if we do things right this month we can get pregnant right away..

Wanting to get pregnant again immediately.. I am reading up on supplements.. I am going to start taking Fish Oil supps.. because they're supposed to be just generally good for you and some things say they're good for TTC too.. And of course keeping with my vitex.. Maybe I'll O even earlier this month.. And I'm putting DH on a multivitamin full time and probably a few extras.. Reading up on that now.. And believe you me.. We're gonna try HARD this month..

Terrified.. I go back and forth between believing whole hartedly that this PAI-1 thing is our answer and the heparin injections will give me a healthy baby, and not believing it all. My Dr tested what he believes are "the most common" causes of m/c.. but he said it was just thrombphilias.. So any other autoimmune things/infections/hormonal/genetic causes were NOT tested.. Which I am okay with.. I guess.. but when I go to the bookstore and pick up books about miscarriages which list gazillions of possible reasons for miscarriage and PAI-1 isn't listed in a one of them (other clotting disorders are.. but not PAI-1).. it makes me nervous.. But then I read really encouraging things in some places on the internet and I feel better.. a little better.. and I DO trust my doctor, even though the researcher in me (I did go to grad school originally to become a research psychologist).. wishes he were a little more thorough.. I guess there is nothing to do at this point other than wait and see....

Sad.. I dunno.. I guess the terrified brings back the sad.. Thinking of doing this all again brings back the sadness of the babies we lost.

On a lighter note. Tomorrow is our 1 year anniversary. We went to Melting Pot.. We just got cheese and salad and chocolate and now I am still SOOO full 4 hours later.. We wanted to go to this new place in town called Infusion, but i guess they were closed for Memorial Day.. I will state that I think that closing on holidays when retail stores are open is one of the stupidest things I think a restaurant owner can do.. especially in a new restaurant. Especially if that restaurant is in a location that has had several failed restaurants in it over the past few years.. *sigh*.. I still want to try this place though before it goes out of business.