Specialist Appointment.

We had our first appointment with the fertility doctor this morning. I was very nervous going in.. I had trouble sleeping last night and was nervous all morning. I guess because I didn't know what to expect. But.. it went pretty well.. We REALLY like the Doctor. He is sweet and friendly and reassuring.. We are just dealing with the miscarriage aspect for now.. not the getting pregnant part.. Since recently we have been able to get pregnant fairly easily. I am happy with this for now.. because I was a little worried going in that they'd push more fertility interventions on us.. since thats mainly what they do there.. but for now.. just testing to see why the two miscarriages..

Basically.. we are waiting for my period to show to get to the next steps.. which are.. lots of bloodwork..mostly to check for clotting disorders.. and some other things. I am getting a cystic fibrosis screening, which is a relief to me, since I have a 50/50 shot of being a carrier since my father had two sisters who died from it.. And I am getting what the Dr. called a "Dye Test" to check for uterine abnormalities. He said that even if everything comes back normal there are things they can do to help my chances of having a healthy pregnancy.. like aspirin and vitamins.. So.. he said either way, he can help us.

The bad news is.. he says no getting pregnant til after we get all the results back... So even though my OB told us we didn't have to avoid getting pregnant.. we do now.. And.. depending on how long it takes to schedule everything after i get my period.. we may end up waiting another cycle too.. Which is a bummer.. because I REALLY just want a baby NOW.. Jeff decided to count months.. and basically the earliest baby we're possibly looking at is late February 09.. So.. a full year after I THOUGHT we'd for sure have a baby by.. Its just discouraging.. I know its for the best.. because if I get pregnant and miscarry again, i'll be waiting even longer.. but knowing that there is no chance now.. just a little discouraging..

Oh.. and my guess is.. I won't get my period for another 3 weeks at least..probably four or more.. I just finally got a negative HPT on Saturday I think.. and I see no signs of ovulation.. and after my last m/c when my bloodwork was negative after 2 days I still didn't ovulate until day 33.. which is 13 days from now. This could go on for awhile..

In other depressing news, this weekend at work.. I saw this woman.. and she was just "a little" pregnant.. Just starting to show.. a cute little mini baby belly.. I should have that by now! I would have been 17 weeks pregnant yesterday with my first pregnancy.. 10 with the second.. I should be at least outgrowing my pants.. and with the first pregnancy.. we'd be finding out if the baby was a boy or girl in the next couple of weeks.. It would be time to start thinking about baby showers and getting names picked out.. but instead I'm just a cat mom..

For some reason yesterday at least three people who didn't know about my miscarriages made random references to me having kids.. One customer always asks me how my baby is doing because she confuses me with another girl who I used to work with also named Melissa.. (but who looks nothing like me and she was the one who was obviously pregnant..not me.. so i dont' get how this is confusing..). So she did that again.. A new coworker asked me if I had kids because he thought he saw a picture of me with a baby on my fathers desk in his office (he saw a picture of me WHEN I WAS A BABY.. this is somehow confusing to him..).. And another one just joked that some day I would know all the wiggles songs when I had kids.. A few days earlier a regular customer half jokingly asked if I was pregnant.. I don't remember why.. but.. its still annoying

OH! And bitchy co worker from last week with her pregnancy dream and blah blah.. Informed me when I saw her again that shes "Still having the dreams".. I don't know what she's getting at anymore.. but I am mentally preparing myself for her pregnancy announcement.. I generally have no problem being happy for people who get pregnant.. especially when ey have been trying.. but That ones gonna sting.... Its just a ridiculous situation that she would be bringing a child into... and she has had an abortion in the past.. and she's just generally a horrid person..How is that fair if she gets pregnant and I can't seem to stay pregnant..