My first loss..

So for both of my losses, i have yet to blog about the actual "day of"... i definitely need to. I will start with the first one..

I was so thrilled to be pregnant the first time. We found out the day after Christmas we were pregnant.. We had waited so long for this.. everything finally seemed to be working out.. I don't know if it was denial, or what.. but I pretty much believed everything would be OK. I would have a baby in September.. I guess we didn't have any reason not to. Most people who we know had babies with no problem. My sister had three babies.. no miscarriages.. why would I be any different?

I didn't tell a LOT of people right away.. two of my coworkers, three of my best friends, my parents and my sister. And Jeff's best friend (and some of his coworkers..) and some random acquaintences at a New Years Eve party.. Okay.. so maybe it was a lot of people.. but it wasn't everyone..

I remember taking another HPT on Tuesday.. I wasn't thrilled with the darkness of the line, because at this point my period was already a couple days late and I felt like it should have been darker.. I think I took the test because i was planning on telling my sister I was pg that day.. I did tell her.. but in the back of my mind I was worried about that line.. So the next day (Wednesday, January 2nd) I temped and saw a HUGE temp drop.. So I took another HPT. The only ones I had in my house were the internet cheapy ones. There was BARELY a line on the test.. I could hardly see it.. Honestly.. I don't even know if it was there.. So I went out and got a Rite Aid brand test.. and a digital rite aid brand.. Well genius me put the digital together wrong.. so I only had the line test to go by.. There was definitely a line on the Rite Aid test.. It wasn't a terribly dark or convincing line..but it was a positive. Nonetheless, Nesties convinced me to call my Doctor's office.

I tried to explain my situation on the phone without sounding like a complete neurotic HPT addict.. I pretty much left out all the HPTs in the middle and explained that I had taken a test a week ago and then another one today.. And the one today was a lot lighter than it had been.. And asked if they would do a blood test to confirm. The lady on the phone said.. "So you took two pregnancy tests.. one a week ago.. and one today? And they're both positive." I tried to explain with a "yes..but.." but her response was "If you have two positive tests..you're pregnant.." And hung up the phone on me..

I KNEW something wasn't right at this point.. I was basically waiting to miscarry. I knew it was coming.. Even though the horrible woman at the doctors office was so "reassuring".. I knew my body.. My symptoms were gone.. I knew the pregnancy tests shouldn't be getting lighter (Even though people say the line darkness is meaningless). I called Jeff while i was driving to work and told him i was scared I was losing the baby.. He tried to reassure me.. but I think even HE knew that I knew..

I didn't have to wait long.. at about 8pm at work I started spotting.. It was darkish spotting.. but it was there.. and I knew what it meant.. By the time i got home I was bleeding red.. I actually debated whether or not to even bother calling the Dr in the morning.. I definitely wasn't going to call tonight. I didn't need someone else to tell me what was happening.. I told all my friends I had m/c-ed before i even talked to the Dr's office.

I actually had Jeff call the Dr's office in the morning for me. A nurse called me back.. Turns out, they had never recorded in their records for me anything indicating I was pregnant..even though I had called the day of my first HPT.. and told them my last period date... and set up an appointment.. When the nurse called me, she said.. "Okay.. I don't have anything on you.. can you tell me when your last period was?".. And I had to recount all the last period info/when I got the positive test.. etc.. Strange.. I thought I had been through all this already.. So she sent me for beta's.. that day (thursday) and sent one for Saturday as well.

The lady at the Quest in my town is AMAZING. She is the nicest woman ever. The old men that have to get their bloodwork done all the time come in and will leave if she's not there or call to see if she is working ahead of time. She could tell the urgency of the situation and she was the one who pushed to get my results back to my Dr's office that day.. Turns out someone actually called my Dr's office rather than waiting for the normal system for them to get the results.. Oh.. but the dr's office didn't find it necessary to call me to inform me I was no longer pregnant until Friday morning at around 10 or 11 am. The idiot nurse informed me that she had gotten my results Thursday afternoon.. but for whatever reason.. she didn't call me.. All she told me at that point was that the results were negative and I didn't have to go back on Saturday.... I later learned that my HCG was 5.6 and my progesterone was 0.6.. So it seems that the pregnancy was doomed from the start..

All i was told at that point was to take it easy and call them back if my bleeding got heavy.. more than one pad an hour...Nothing else.. No instructions.. no followup..nothing..

So I promptly found a new OB/GYN.. I called that day and made an appt with a new Dr... Ironically.. it was for March 12th at 10:30pm (but to call if i got pg before then).. the exact time and date my D&C for my 2nd pregnancy ended up being scheduled.. What are the odds?

Two weeks later, my old OB/GYN called me.. to see why I missed my first prenatal appointment!!!!! I didn't answer the call or return their message.. A few weeks after that (Before i found out I was pregnant again) I went to their office and requested my records be sent to both me and my new ob/gyn.. I talked to the same exact bitch who hung up the phone on me the day of my miscarriage.