Feeling lame..

I had Jeff call my Dr's office to ask if/when we will get another ultrasound. I just think that he will be a little more aggressive than me.. AND.. more importantly I think.. I am embarrassed to be calling about something so "insignificant" in the big scheme of things.. ALL that should matter to me is that my baby is healthy and growing.. Right? But I actually cried a little bit last night cuz I am truly sad that we don't know the gender of this little one yet.. I KNOW its so stupid.. and I hate myself for feeling this way.. but if she really is a she I really want to start getting her room ready.. I have been waiting to paint that room for almost three years now, since we painted it originally. My friend had her baby shower yesterday and she knows hers is a girl and i was so jealous seeing all the cute little things she got.. Its so stupid to be upset about.. and I really don't care if its a boy or a girl.. i just want to know!

Update to this.. Jeff called and talked to the receptionist.. .. The woman on the phone said if we just tell the Dr at the next appt that they couldn't tell the gender for sure at the big u/s.. that the Dr should be able to just check for us right there.. I was kind of hoping they would put it in the notes so they'd know ahead of time.. but she said it shouldn't be a problem.. DH also asked if we could just make a separate appt to come in for that but they said no.. So in about 18 days we should know for sure if baby is a girl!


The other piece of this though, is that I REALLY need to start getting better at ASKING for what I want or for more info at the Dr's office.. My RE never actually told me what my clotting diagnosis was.. I had to ask the blood draw lady and then google info on it.. I wanted to ask my ob/gyn TWICE to switch me onto Lovenox from heparin, but chickened out both times.. And now I really need more information on how they are gonna handle things in the later part of this pregnancy.. I keep reading things about the clotting disorders causing Pre-E, IUGR and Preterm labor among other things.. The Dr at the hospital when I had my NT scans said that I should start coming in at some point for Biophysical profiles and NSTs.. but my Dr's office has mentioned nothing to me except that I'll stop taking baby aspirin at 36 weeks. Part of me thinks I should be seeing an MFM Dr regularly cuz of this stuff.. But yet, I haven't asked my Dr's office about anything.. I don't know why I'm so timid about it.. My Dr's are so sweet and I think they really do understand all my anxietys.. but at the same time they always seem like they're in such a hurry..

I am really gonna try to be brave at my next appt and ask ALL my questions and ask flat out for a referral to an MFM.. I'm a little extra nervous because its a Dr. I haven't met before.. The good news is she is the senior Dr in the practice and she is the Dr. that everyone RAVES about and recommend me to.. The bad news is, I have never seen her before so I don't know what to expect about her demeanor, and I don't think she knows anything about my history except what may or may not be in my charts.. So.. this Dr may think i'm a GIANT pain in the ass, asking for ultrasounds and referrals and everything....but I have to do this for my baby.. Maybe if I talk to Jeff before hand he will help me ask all of my questions.. I really do have a WONDERFUL husband.. He really takes all my concerns and paranoias very seriously.. And he does as much as he can do to make sure we are doing everything possible for this little one..