Craptastic Day

So my coworker that has been talking about her baby dreams is still implying that she thinks she's pregnant.... Depending on who she tells, her period was either due today or later this week.. Basically her suspicions are based on her dreams and umm... fake symptoms such as feeling "groggy".. and doing things like belching loudly in public.. which she did in my face just before she started yapping about her baby dreams.. So that was the beginning of my work day.. For the love of god.. just pee on a stick.. and then don't talk to me about being pregnant.. ever..

But the end of my work day got SO SO much worse.. I approach a new table.. A young-ish couple.. Bring them menus.. They tell me that they are going to have another person joining them shortly.. And.. then.. out of nowhere.. the husband whips out.. an ULTRASOUND picture.. and hands it to me.. I don't know.. must have been like 8 or 9 weeks.. the gummy bear stage.. and tells me all excitedly that this is his baby.. and goes on and on about how excited he is.. How the baby was really small right now.. and he didn't know if it was a boy or a girl.. I managed not to burst into tears.. And congratulated them..I did get a little teary eyed.. I should have given the table to someone else at that point.. but I guess I am a glutton for punishment.. They kept pulling the pictures out over and over again and talking about them.. discussing if it was the babies butt or its "tail" or its head.. And honestly.. it was hard not to be happy for them.. the dad was SO excited and cute.. He was calling all his friends/family telling them that they had seen the heartbeat and how he's excited now and he was just kind of scared before... I think it was her father that joined them.. so of course he had to be shown the pictures.. It was adorable.. but heartbreaking. This has never happened to me in my 8+ years of waitressing.. so this is pretty awful timing..

I left work shortly after I was done with their table and basically cried all the way home.. THAT SHOULD BE ME.. That should be MY husband calling all his friends and showing our ultrasound pictures to random waitresses.. (not that he would). I never got to show off pictures of my "baby" because all my ultrasounds just showed a big black EMPTY hole.. Before my first dr. appt this time.. I had this little fantasy of taking my ultrasound picture to Jeff's work after I got out of the dr's office to show him..even though it should have just been a "speck".. instead there was NOTHING.. so obviously that never happened..This is so unfair.. Jeff just keeps telling me that we will have a baby soon.. But we should be having a baby NOW.. I should have those ultrasound pics... I should be redecorating our guest room into a nursery..

Then i got home and checked my Nestie friend Erin's blog.. She and her husband have been trying to have a baby a lot longer than us.. and there is no one I would have been happier to see get pregnant.. Her first ultrasound was a little scary.. and I am really just hoping for the best for her since she deserves nothing but good news after all that she has been through! So I'm sad and scared for her too.. and I hope tomorrow there will be better news..

And to add insult to injury I'm getting sick.. I have a fever and a headache and a bit of a cough.. I really hope i feel better tomorrow.. I am supposed to go to a GTG with my local nesties... but I don't want to go if I'm sick especially since there will be at least two, maybe three babies there and a couple of pregnant girls too.. I don't want to spread my plague to them..