A year ago..

A year ago today was the beginning of the cycle where I got pregnant for the first time. So it sort of starts a whole new cycle of anniversaries.. Some of the dates I randomly remember.. I had to go for CD3 b/w on Dec 2nd, because my OB was checking to see if there was a reason my cycles were so long and somewhat irregular still after being off the pill for 8+ months. It was a Sunday and there was only ONE lab that my Dr's office said I could go to and was open on a Sunday.. and there was a blizzard and I got my car stuck in the snow in a parking lot that wasn't even the right spot for the lab. The lab was supposed to open at 8 I think, but the lady working didn't end up getting there til 45 minutes later cuz the weather was so bad. That bloodwork all came back normal except for my TSH which was borderline high. I had it retested about a week and a half later and it was completely normal too.. So I was hormonally normal.. my body was just not cooperating up until that point.
Lo and behold though, that was the first cycle I ovulated "early" on CD17. I credited it to the herb Vitex I had been taking. I suddenly was VERY hopeful for this cycle. I actually made my DH hide my tests for a few days because
Christmas morning I got a BFN.. Even on an FRER.. Bummer.. I wasn't totally counting myself out YET though.. The day after christmas, I peed on an internet cheapy strip.. not wanting to waste an FRER.. Initially I thought it was BFN, but there was SOMETHING there.. the tiniest faintest of lines. I did not at all believe that it was BFP.. but I was talking to my best friend on IM who had originally given me some of the ICs.. and she said that the lines on them were NEVER dark and if there was any line at all.. I was pg! So I did another one, and saw another line. I told her I was gonna wait til the next day to use an FRER, but I ended up doing it before the end of the day. It was a DEFINITE BFP. I think that I texted the picture to Jeff... and I called my OB that same day. and made my appt.. for about 3 and a half weeks later.
The next week was exciting and fun.. I told my parents and sister and a few close friends.. A couple of my coworkers but not most of them. Then we went a party on New Years Eve, and obviously told a few more people. They were not close friends of ours, and honestly most of them I haven't seen or only seen once or twice since then.. but it was exciting to be spreading our news.. We also went to see Juno on new years eve and I was telling Jeff how I was excited to get a little baby belly, but was sort of afraid to have a GIANT one. :) ..

I really can't remember too much about New Years Day.. I think I may have tested again and gotten a lighter line... something that made me a little concerned.. So the next day, which was a Wednesday, a week after I got my BFP, I temped in the morning (I had not been temping all along).. and my temp had PLUMMETED.. Uh oh. I did another internet cheapy test.. It was basically BFN.. maybe if I squinted I could see a line.. So I ran out to rite-aid and got the store brand test and a store brand digital. I actually screwed up using the digital cuz it wasn't as easy as the clearblue easy one I had used previously. The store brand test (it was a blue dye test) still showed a line but it was really faint for being, at this point, 17 or something DPO.. I called my OB's office.. Talked to the receptionist. She was a HUGE BITCH to me. I tried explaining to her how I had taken a test a week ago and then one today (I didn't mention the 97 I had taken in the mean time) and the line was lighter.. but it was still positive (I honestly think it was basically a false positive at that point). I asked if they could run a blood test for me.. Her response was.."If you took two tests and thier both positive, you're pregnant" in a super annoyed bitchy tone.. and she hung up on me..
So.. we all know where this goes from here.. I started spotting that evening at work, probably around 8pm. There was no doubt in my mind, even having never been there before what was happening.. I remember reading a trash magazine at work about JamieLynn Spears being pregnant at 15 or whatever.. I had to walk away because it made me want to cry. By the time I got home around Eleven it had turned into a full on period like bleed. I was sobbing and sobbing on the way home on the phone with Jeff, and the roads were slippery and I came VERY close to putting my car into a guardrail that night because I was too upset to really be driving.. We went to the store that night and bought pads and some other random groceries (what a better time to do grocery shopping than while you're having a m/c).. I think Jeff was just trying to keep me busy, keep my mind off things.

I had Jeff call the Dr. the next the morning. The nurse that called me back was slightly nicer.. but not a gem.. She sent me for bloodwork that morning. Right before the bloodwork I peed on the other rite aid brand test.. I still got a faint positive (which is why I believe the one I got on Wed. was a false + too).. The nurse did not call back til mid-friday morning with the results, even though she told me on the phone that they had them Thursday afternoon.. (not like this is news that I'd want to know or anything).. She didn't tell me the number, but she told me my beta was negative. I later found out when I requested my records from them it was actually 5.6.. so technically NOT negative.. but my progesterone level was basically zero.. which is not suprising considering I had already been bleeding for 12+ hours when I had the blood drawn.. I was given no instructions, no followup appt, or anything. They didn't even bother cancelling my first pre-natal appt, they just called me when I missed it.. Needless to say, I called my new OB that same day, and made an appt to get set up with them.

So.. that is my long rambling story of my first pregnancy. It wasn't a very long pregnancy.. but it is an experience i will never EVER forget.. We have been through a lot in the past year, and I am so thankful to have my little Evie on the way.. but I can't ever forget what brought us here.